Shanice on Body Image

Meet Shanice Armstrong

All my life at a very young age I understood that people had discomfort or worry in my weight.

Comments of when I was young about eating too much, or putting too much butter on my bread.

Small comments that grew into other aspects of my life; while I felt my siblings were doing extra curricular activities because people say talent in them, I understood that my extra curricular activities were to keep my weight down.

At 14, I started skipping meals and avoiding my lunches just to fit in with my peers and having less family pressure, even though what I did not consider was I was creating more pressure on the inner relationship with myself.

It was not until 2 year in college when I was diagnosed with Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension was when I learned I can't keep skipping meals and treating myself like this.

Then Covid happened and it really helped me slow down the world and look deep into who I am and how I feel about myself. With no longer skipping meals, my body started to gain weight.

But this felt different because I was actively being more honest with myself, and people who support me about my journey. I became more outspoken on social media about self love and grace.

So every day step by step, and even now I remind myself of my how far I come and how I am enough just as I am. That the discomfort of others is only their projection, at the end of the day self love and grace is so important.

Especially being a woman of color who is fat; we are forced to always have to work so much harder to get to places we aspire to be.

As i grow up into a young adult; I have learned I am so capable and beautiful as I am even if stores don't offer my size, people may feel uncomfortable or the everyday pressure of trying to fit into beauty standards – I am capable and beautiful and enough. Period.

What has your journey with body acceptance looked like over the years, and how has turning 30 shifted anything for you?

Turning 30 has pushed me to be very reflective; seeing how far I have come, how much I have matured and grown emotionally.

The past 5 years have been me truly stepping into adulthood, finding work that speaks to me, moving out and being more independent, having my first car.

I have learned how capable and resilient I am, not only with my work but my personal life too. Knowing when to say yes or no, when to stress, when to create a plan.

And accepting my soft nature that needs to be accepted and nourished by my support group around me.

Really diving into my emotional soft girl life; as the eldest daughter I have always had the pressure to be the leader, the one who gives help but does not accept it. I am no longer accepting that pressure anymore.

What are some of the assumptions people make about you because of your body—and how do you respond to that?

That I am not healthy; Sometimes with family I still am overwhelmed. Some comments have been very ignorant but at the same time

I am very aware this is a projection and has nothing to do with me. On my best days I let it fall off my back like water and I know the journey I am on.

There is a strong difference with people who just make judgement or someone who genuinely cares about my process.

Have there been moments when your size and your race made you feel doubly judged or unseen?

Our transitions are powerful, beautiful, and unique. But they are also only part of our lives. We are also just people.

We live our lives, dream of our futures, care for our families, and so on. Our stories don’t begin and end with when we change a name or a pronoun, or if & when we undergo medical care.

Our lives are full, complicated, messy, and sublime.

What’s something you wish more people understood about confidence that isn’t just about weight loss or aesthetics?

A lot of women no matter what they look like have their own stories about their relationships with their bodies. People should really learn not to comment on people’s bodies even if they think it's positive.

Our bodies should not be a topic of discussion; usually people who I see do that are usually just projecting.

Beauty is perspective and not a definite fact of how women should look one way. We need to devalue the concept of weight loss and aesthetics because they are not real for anyone.

Confidence for me is about accepting all of your authenticity and basking in being grateful for who you are. It is not about satisfying others; it's about loving yourselves.